October 1998
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."
"Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them."

- Anonymous Web Humor

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day."

- Anonymous Web Humor Again

"Redneck Rampage Rides Again" Instruction manual
"Bubba's Homegrown Horroscope"

Cancer - June 22-July 23
"Cancer is unhealthy, and you're dying from some God-forsaken plague. And it's your own fault because you were born in the month of Baalzebub! So crawl into a hole and die, maggot! DIE!"

"you rhapsodize about beauty
and my eyes glaze
everything i love is ugly
really, you'd be amazed
just do me a favor
it's the least that you can do
just don't treat me like i am
something that happened to you
i did not design this game
i did not name the stakes
i just happen to like apples
and i am not afraid of snakes"

--Ani Difranco "Adam and Eve"
think i'm going for a walk now
I feel a little unsteady
I don't want noone to follow me
except maybe you

i could make you happy, you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it, but you're perfect together

so fuck you

and your untouchable face
fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can't even tell me that much

2:30 in the morning
my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
safe haven of the sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down the top 20 country songs

out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
you know i really don't look forward
to seeing you again soon.

you look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
i won't know what to do
i won't know what to say

so fuck you

see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and the fan that's on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...

-- Ani DiFranco, "Untouchable Face"

and if you made it all the way down here, check this out:
Demotivation posters