March 2000
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Ahhh.. I see the stupid fairy has visited us again...
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

-- more web humor one liners

Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial

- your friendly neighborhood Perry

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."

--Howard Aiken

"At times to be silent is to lie. You will win because you have enough brute force. But you will not convince. For to convince you need to persuade. And in order to persuade you would need what you lack: Reason and Right."

-- Miguel de Unamuno in a confrontation with fascist General Milan-Astray at the University of Salamanca on October 12, 1936.

Milan-Astray shouted in reply, "Death to intelligence! And long live Death!" whereupon he drove the elderly Unamuno out of the university at gunpoint. Writer and independent thinker, original mind and rector of the University of Salamanca, Unamuno consequently suffered a heart attack and was dead within a week.

man 1: 3 minutes, you've got three minutes. Any more and you'll lose your mind.
man 2: How can you lose your mind?
man 1: Once her reality becomes yours, there's really no way back.

-- movie "What Dreams May Come" (thanks Jennifer/Rowen for providing that title...)

...those most worthy of love are rarely made happy by it.

-- a character in the movie Dangerous Laiasons

What's true in our minds is true...whether some people know it or not.

-- movie "What Dreams May Come" (thanks Jennifer/Rowen for providing that title...)

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

--Damian Hutchinson's Uncle Wilbur

The next section I checked out is called Vampiric Circumstance. Our immortal blood bitch shows some intelligence in this section, as her spelling and grammar are quite good. However, the fact that she believes vampires do exist discredits all smarts she may have. Come bright can you be when your theory is "your vampiric existence is what you make of it".

exerpt from the Reality Check of the Week for Mariana