(or -- "Lego People That Aren't, Will Never, But Should Be...")
Fourth Week of April, 1999
Johnny the Homicidal LegoMan!

Add some real spice to your legoland with this charming 256 grays Johnny the Homicidal Maniac LegoMan. He's got wit, charm and two really pointy knives!

Imagine the laughter you'll spew when Bill and Marcy Lego walk home through the balmy evening from their perfectly complacent movie date. When suddenly they hear a scream of:

"It wouldn't take much to make your outside look like your inside!!! HEH!!! I could just CHOP your BRAIN out!"

Their little lego mouths painted into an "O" of surprise, the hapless lego couple must dive into the grimy lego sewer system (watch out for those lego rats!) to avoid being hacked to plastic confetti by the whirling dervish of wit and gore that is Johnny. Hours later, finally believing themselves safe, the couple crawl out onto the studded asphalt of aboveground legoland and make their way cautiously home. Unaware that their house holds an unexpected guest searching for bactine....

(we're going to be updating this weekly with the Quote. if you have any decent ideas, send them to me. i promise you'll get credit.)

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