(or -- "Lego People That Aren't, Will Never, But Should Be...")
First Week of May, 1999
lego jesus.Lego Jesus

Bring a bit of the sacred into your legoland.

This beautiful icon of our lord is the crowning acheivement of religious legoism. Notice the detail of the torso and facial features. His longsuffering stare is almost hypnotizing. And, complete with detatchable cross and a small flashlight, the Jesus lego is not only beautiful, but versatile.

Never again will your lego nuns have to rely on faith alone. Simply lean them back on their lego pews, position your Jesus lego (on his cross) at a 45 degree angle above them, and flip on the flashlight. (a good religious note sung by you completes the picture)

Lego Jesus can be taken off his cross for post-resurrection sermons, weddings or retribution of any kind. Forget the legopolice -- now you can use the power of Lego Jesus to smote the evildoers of legoland!

Just imagine the looks on the faces of the two lego burglers as they crawl from the window of a plundered legohouse and are faced with the blinding (AA battery powered) light of the Lego Lord. Faced with the wrath of Lego Jesus, the two haples thiefs must submit to the Lego Lord's will or be melted into small piles of plastic goo!

With this powerful icon in your possession, you will be free to bless or damn the inhabitants of legoland as you see fit. You will become the physical and spiritual leader of your lego universe.


(we're going to be updating this weekly with the Quote. if you have any decent ideas, send them to me. i promise you'll get credit.)

Back Button