April 1998
"How is your mother?"

"Ravishing as ever...
which is hardly surprising.
Vigilant selfishness does wonders for the skin."

-- "Camelot"


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"You can't buy personality,
but you can buy color"

-- The Body Shop Window Ad

"I've always hated seagulls"

"I haven't.
I mean, i've always thought they were
ugly birds...but now i'm kinda scared..."


Alright -- who wants some background to justify this lame little quote?
The guy is my (now ex-)boyfriend, the girl is me. The quote isn't nearly as interesting as what prompted it.
We were walking down Market street, coming home from work. I was watching the courtship rituals of the city's numerous pigeons: boy pigeon puffs up around the neck and does the courtship dance, chasing girl pigeon all over the pavement.
I do so enjoy chances to watch men perform.
Anyway, there were a fair amount of amorous birds out.
So we walked past the civic center fountain, and i was watching this one boy pigeon strutting around trying his best to be the Godpidgeon, when suddenly a seagull that had been standing just off to the side dove for the pigeon. It got the pigeon just below the wing and started shaking the poor thing around as a dog would to a toy, knocking the smaller bird's body savagely into the brick.
It took the pigeon a good minute or two to stop struggling. I was so shocked at the scene that i didn't think to intervene until ot was obviously too late.
I stood, enraptured, watching as the seagull killed the pigeon, and started *eating* it. (why, oh why didn't i have my camera?!?)
ok ok -- call me naive,i wasn't aware that seagulls were nature's newest cannibals. but after hearing the *clack* of that ravaging beak as it tore feathers and flesh yesterday and watching the pitiful struggling of the pigeon, i have a whole new appreciation for the phrase:
"damned seagulls"
hawks i can understand, falcons i can understand -- they are hunting birds with sharp claws and hooked beaks that are known to be predators. but it seems as if the seagulls have broken some sort of peace pact here. for so long they've existed side by side with the pigeons....is this the start of a war? scavenger vs scavenger?
hey, isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse...
(check this out! i had my camera with me the next time!!)

"I loathe people who keep dogs.
They are cowards who haven't got
the guts to bite people themselves"

--Anonymous Web Humor